Change of Scenery

Change is good, right? After the past few years, I've learned that most change is good for the soul, but there also comes a point where change no longer benefits you or those around you. Granted, I didn't always feel this way. After much monotony, and little growth in my life, I decided to change every aspect I could possibly affect. I came up with about 8 major ways to become unstuck all at once and it resulted in an emotional overload. Sort of like a kid's first time jumping in a pool- it took a scary experience of feeling like I couldn't breathe, a rescue from a certain life preserver of mine- and after the initial shock I was soon able to manage bits of change without freaking out. However, I also learned not to dive in the deep end unprepared again.

The past few years in my career have been a bit tumultuous at times, but nonetheless amazing growth experiences for me. Only recently did I finally have to say "uncle" when I looked around me and nothing was the same as when I started, and not necessarily in a way that was healthy. Today I finally said goodbye to my company after a long grieving process- that started a year ago. Why did I stay around so long you ask? The same way love is blind, was my affection for my job. A glamorous Internet start-up, which was a sure-to-be-big company a few years down the road. The talent, the people, the ideas, the friendships developed. It was my five year home. Or so I thought, hoped, wished.

I don't know how to sum up the changes in one sentence, in fact it could probably fill a book, and they certainly amount to more than my initial 8ish changes that almost crumbled me a few years ago. I stayed strong, unbreakable, because I had no option. I had to press forward. I wanted to press forward in hopes of things picking back up again. But one day the sun disappeared and in the darkness it was a home I didn't know anymore.

Of course, this all sounds very dramatic, but if you were in the inside lines with me you wouldn't dispute- you would merely nod your head with the same knowing I feel. The next few days ahead of me I have great hopes for- and the next few years even more. What I can endure, I become stronger for- and I believe sticking through discomfort for an entire year can bring unbelievable growth. I just am not sure I would ever recommend it...