Where the Heart Is

Over the holidays I was able to spend time with family, friends, loved ones...it was my first venture back to Michigan since wedding season and it's amazing how much has happened in just a few short months. Whenever I travel back "home", it seems that I get my bearings back. I know what I want, who I am, where I want to be...and then I travel back to Chicago and it seems my compass just spins round & round and never can find North.

There's something inexplicable about the love, joy and peace that I feel when we're home visiting, and it's not just during the holidays when those feelings are a'plenty. I was young and impatient when I fled that state seeking independence, only to find it was within me, and I ran away from those I loved. The cost of finding my independence was a price I still am paying for...sure I have cherished all of the people I've met, experiences I've had, and growth I've experienced in love and life. Maybe I wouldn't have grown had I stayed. However I can't help but wonder why my path just won't cross again with the place I love so much.

Regardless of where we are planting down roots, I still feel as though my spirit only truly returns when I venture back to my true home. Will that ever change?? I don't know...but the pangs of missing, all of it, still ache after a few weeks. For now, I will focus on building our home here and hope I find that feeling, even if it's only a small shadow of the Michigan love I have deep within...