The other day it occurred to me that it's been FOREVER since I posted. I partially forgot I had a blog...pregnancy brain already??
Needless to say, my first trimester was completely overwhelming. I didn't think having a baby on top of starting grad school, a new job, and building a house was possible. I truly believe there's a reason why you are pregnant for 9 months- it takes that long to mentally adjust and be ready for the baby!
Each week I adapted to the idea a little more...now my belly is really growing (I still look in the mirror and have to remind myself it's a baby- not a beer belly!), I'm really starting to understand the concept that in 5 1/2 months it won't just be Dave & I! I've gone from freak-out to excitement mode, with plenty of nausea, tossing my cookies, headaches and general exhaustion between the two emotions.
I finally feel like myself again, well as close as I can get right now... I had just a little bit of an "edge" to me that first trimester, so maybe it was better I didn't post too much :)
In other news we've officially decided to keep the baby's sex a surprise- if I have to get through child birth I figured that would motivate me to push! I totally think it's a girl and am obsessed with any wives tale stories...according to Chinese Gender Calculators (http://www.thebump.com/calculators/ChineseGenderChart.aspx?MsdVisit=1), "timing" and ahem positions...among other methods of telling (plus my undying FRUIT obsession) I am convinced. I guess we will just find out October 17th when this little one makes its debut!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Retraction
Hey all...long time no talk...life has been a BIT busy to say the least. What with grad school, a new job (another one! long story...) and some big news I've been a bit occupied.
About a month ago I posted a very "heartfelt" piece on the trickery behind onesies. Little did I realize at the time that my reassuring statement at the beginning of the post was a LIE. I am in fact...pregnant. YOW! I had no clue at the time, and was wholeheartedly convinced the entire month I wasn't...despite having a two-week hangover and tackling Dave (hubby) on two separate occasions for food: once for a chocolate chip cookie, and the other time for a hot dog.
If you know me at all, I'm not exactly a hot dog eating type. I just hopped off the vegetarian bandwagon about 6 months ago and haven't exactly been plowing into hot dogs or other questionable "meat" at any frequency. Oh, and feeling queasy? I was convinced it was from a friend's birthday party- where we surely were celebrating "21" not 28- that really could've caused a 2 week hangover like I felt!
The hubby was convinced, and I wasn't. In an effort to show him who was right, I whipped out the handy EPT on coincidentally, our 4-year anniversary. That baby (no pun intended) barely blinked before a big fat positive came up on the screen. I quietly uttered to myself "mother fucker" in my ultimate shock. How could this be??! Granted we weren't exactly careful, there was that anniversary celebration...and the new job celebration...and the I'm starting grad school celebration...well you get the picture! I guess I just figured it wouldn't happen so soon...
I have been taking the past 6 weeks to adjust and surrender to my ever-changing body. I'm a runner but my shortness of breath tells me to power walk. I enjoy spicy foods but my queasy tummy says how bout a plain bagel with egg whites instead? Not to mention feeling like death while juggling a sales job, grad school homework and trying to pull off a "composed" image to those unknowing individuals around me, I was exhausted. I finally let people know- I'm pretty much all tum & chest so it's not that subtle anymore!
Yesterday I realized why I was going through all of this. I went to the doc for our very first ultrasound...it was nothing short of amazing. Dave laughed as I had to yet endure one other object shoved up my lady business (he cringed when the metal speculum was crammed in there during his front row seating at last week's appointment)- but the result was much more rewarding this time. On the 1992-era GE ultrasound we saw our first picture of Baby, and "she" was perfect. We also saw a fast flicker indicating the heartbeat...and I forgot about every complaint I had.
Today when I was teary about my tight jacket and growing belly, I was reminded of what's really going on when I looked at the picture again...maybe it's because it's our little one, but I swear it looks cuter than your typical ultrasound specimen already :)
P.S. I haven't gone crazy buying onesies (it's no fun when you don't know the sex!), but today we did spend $100 on our unborn baby's library! reformed shopaholic? forget it with these hormones!
About a month ago I posted a very "heartfelt" piece on the trickery behind onesies. Little did I realize at the time that my reassuring statement at the beginning of the post was a LIE. I am in fact...pregnant. YOW! I had no clue at the time, and was wholeheartedly convinced the entire month I wasn't...despite having a two-week hangover and tackling Dave (hubby) on two separate occasions for food: once for a chocolate chip cookie, and the other time for a hot dog.
If you know me at all, I'm not exactly a hot dog eating type. I just hopped off the vegetarian bandwagon about 6 months ago and haven't exactly been plowing into hot dogs or other questionable "meat" at any frequency. Oh, and feeling queasy? I was convinced it was from a friend's birthday party- where we surely were celebrating "21" not 28- that really could've caused a 2 week hangover like I felt!
The hubby was convinced, and I wasn't. In an effort to show him who was right, I whipped out the handy EPT on coincidentally, our 4-year anniversary. That baby (no pun intended) barely blinked before a big fat positive came up on the screen. I quietly uttered to myself "mother fucker" in my ultimate shock. How could this be??! Granted we weren't exactly careful, there was that anniversary celebration...and the new job celebration...and the I'm starting grad school celebration...well you get the picture! I guess I just figured it wouldn't happen so soon...
I have been taking the past 6 weeks to adjust and surrender to my ever-changing body. I'm a runner but my shortness of breath tells me to power walk. I enjoy spicy foods but my queasy tummy says how bout a plain bagel with egg whites instead? Not to mention feeling like death while juggling a sales job, grad school homework and trying to pull off a "composed" image to those unknowing individuals around me, I was exhausted. I finally let people know- I'm pretty much all tum & chest so it's not that subtle anymore!
Yesterday I realized why I was going through all of this. I went to the doc for our very first ultrasound...it was nothing short of amazing. Dave laughed as I had to yet endure one other object shoved up my lady business (he cringed when the metal speculum was crammed in there during his front row seating at last week's appointment)- but the result was much more rewarding this time. On the 1992-era GE ultrasound we saw our first picture of Baby, and "she" was perfect. We also saw a fast flicker indicating the heartbeat...and I forgot about every complaint I had.
Today when I was teary about my tight jacket and growing belly, I was reminded of what's really going on when I looked at the picture again...maybe it's because it's our little one, but I swear it looks cuter than your typical ultrasound specimen already :)
P.S. I haven't gone crazy buying onesies (it's no fun when you don't know the sex!), but today we did spend $100 on our unborn baby's library! reformed shopaholic? forget it with these hormones!
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Intentions
For those of you who may not know, I recently started my MBA. I am thoroughly enjoying my first class "Executive Skills", which is all about public speaking, email etiquette, writing proposals...all of the important daily stuff that we sometimes neglect. My professor is wildly entertaining...not to mention I instantly liked her when she wore too-cute Coach shoes to our first class (is that shallow? I appreciate someone with sassy style!)
Last night during one of her informative rants she was discussing intentions and boundaries. Why is it that a close friend or spouse can confide in you anything- or provide candid advice or opinions to you without fear? It isn't what they say that navigates any boundaries, it is the intention behind it. I never really thought of it that way. Essentially you can share whatever you feel with those close girlfriends, and hopefully your significant other, because they know it's coming from your heart and you don't mean harm (at least, that's how it should be). On the flip side, if someone you barely knew or trusted said something similar you might be grossly offended. Ex: The IT guy at work comments on how bold your new hairstyle is...BOLD?! What does that mean. Who is he to comment!! Am I right?
I am fortunate to have several close friends in my life that I have this relationship with...they understand that at the heart I care about them, and would never say anything with the intent to hurt. However I am not always the smoothest operator and sometimes excitement or passion overshadows my tiny ration of tact that I possess (thanks, Dad). Or my loving husband who I've said a few things to and really meant out of love, although a few haven't sat as well as I intended...there was a "pear shaped" comment I made when he complained about his jeans not fitting right. I meant it as a consolation but you may imagine how that really went down. NOTE: Do not ever tell a MAN he is pear-shaped. There is no shovel that will dig you out of that.
The class provided a good lesson...build relationships with those around you on the foundation of good intentions. But my biggest takeaway was thankfulness, for all those in my life (you know who you are) that I can truly be myself with and honesty always comes from the heart. <3
Last night during one of her informative rants she was discussing intentions and boundaries. Why is it that a close friend or spouse can confide in you anything- or provide candid advice or opinions to you without fear? It isn't what they say that navigates any boundaries, it is the intention behind it. I never really thought of it that way. Essentially you can share whatever you feel with those close girlfriends, and hopefully your significant other, because they know it's coming from your heart and you don't mean harm (at least, that's how it should be). On the flip side, if someone you barely knew or trusted said something similar you might be grossly offended. Ex: The IT guy at work comments on how bold your new hairstyle is...BOLD?! What does that mean. Who is he to comment!! Am I right?
I am fortunate to have several close friends in my life that I have this relationship with...they understand that at the heart I care about them, and would never say anything with the intent to hurt. However I am not always the smoothest operator and sometimes excitement or passion overshadows my tiny ration of tact that I possess (thanks, Dad). Or my loving husband who I've said a few things to and really meant out of love, although a few haven't sat as well as I intended...there was a "pear shaped" comment I made when he complained about his jeans not fitting right. I meant it as a consolation but you may imagine how that really went down. NOTE: Do not ever tell a MAN he is pear-shaped. There is no shovel that will dig you out of that.
The class provided a good lesson...build relationships with those around you on the foundation of good intentions. But my biggest takeaway was thankfulness, for all those in my life (you know who you are) that I can truly be myself with and honesty always comes from the heart. <3
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
The Onesie & Tiny Shoes
First off, disclaimer: I am not pregnant. Phew!
I am convinced there exists a sick marketing plot- with the culprit being soft colors, tiny versions of leggings, fashionable shoes and of course the onsie- that tried to trick me into this major life decision. First of all, how freaking cute are those tiny shoes! Sometimes I feel like Liz Lemon and just want to start a stash in my purse for those rough days. Second of all, it's every marketers dream. BABIES = MONEY. A whole other person on this planet to consume products, wear tiny fashions that are outgrown a week later, and go through many many packages of $100 diapers (they must be that expensive, right?!) AND Don't even get me started on the onesie. With their cute sayings ("Party in my crib, 2am") and their fun patterns, it is hard not to want to find a tiny little person to put in them and parade around. We will revisit the onesie a bit later.
But seriously, the hubby and I have only been married not even six months and this question must come up every time we see our family. At first we were bummed our honeymoon didn't create a bright, bouncing combination of our stellar DNA (but you can bet we certainly tried! repeatedly! ha) Then, we realized, we had so much time ahead of us. It was the pressure of "what's next"? that created this internal complex as each month seems to tick by without that nine month countdown.
It was only until I took a big step back that I realized, I just wanted a tiny version of "us" to dress, parade around and look cute. I don't know that I want or am ready to take care of a baby outside of the happy fun moments (2 am feedings? Constant laundry? Crying? Looking like a sleep-deprived zombie?) Sure, every parent says the negative things are completely worth it, and I'm sure there right. But damn it'd be incredibly selfish to procreate on the sole purpose of finding an outlet for my stash of onesies (although I bet my husband will create some darn cute kiddies!)
PS if you think about it, the onesie is only cute on tiny ones...let's remember the onesie for adults, aka the Bodysuit, circa 1992. Yikes! let's NEVER bring that one back, k?
I am convinced there exists a sick marketing plot- with the culprit being soft colors, tiny versions of leggings, fashionable shoes and of course the onsie- that tried to trick me into this major life decision. First of all, how freaking cute are those tiny shoes! Sometimes I feel like Liz Lemon and just want to start a stash in my purse for those rough days. Second of all, it's every marketers dream. BABIES = MONEY. A whole other person on this planet to consume products, wear tiny fashions that are outgrown a week later, and go through many many packages of $100 diapers (they must be that expensive, right?!) AND Don't even get me started on the onesie. With their cute sayings ("Party in my crib, 2am") and their fun patterns, it is hard not to want to find a tiny little person to put in them and parade around. We will revisit the onesie a bit later.
But seriously, the hubby and I have only been married not even six months and this question must come up every time we see our family. At first we were bummed our honeymoon didn't create a bright, bouncing combination of our stellar DNA (but you can bet we certainly tried! repeatedly! ha) Then, we realized, we had so much time ahead of us. It was the pressure of "what's next"? that created this internal complex as each month seems to tick by without that nine month countdown.
It was only until I took a big step back that I realized, I just wanted a tiny version of "us" to dress, parade around and look cute. I don't know that I want or am ready to take care of a baby outside of the happy fun moments (2 am feedings? Constant laundry? Crying? Looking like a sleep-deprived zombie?) Sure, every parent says the negative things are completely worth it, and I'm sure there right. But damn it'd be incredibly selfish to procreate on the sole purpose of finding an outlet for my stash of onesies (although I bet my husband will create some darn cute kiddies!)
PS if you think about it, the onesie is only cute on tiny ones...let's remember the onesie for adults, aka the Bodysuit, circa 1992. Yikes! let's NEVER bring that one back, k?
Friday, January 22, 2010
Exposed!
As a follow up to my previous post, I thought I'd share a funny story from yesterday.
The hubby & were walking through Whole Foods last night, waiting for our yummy pizza to be created (highly recommend btw!), when he looked down at my new, fabulous boots that I may have managed to smuggle past him from the UPS guy. His eyes traveled from my boots up to my eyes, which deftly avoided contact with his. And the smirk started to spread across his face. I of course adeptly denied that these were not in fact, delivered in the rather large box I received from Martin & Osa last week.
Why must he be so perceptive?! I mean, I totally appreciate that he still pays attention to the detail, but man I cannot sneak anything past him.
And p.s. this is the second time I was found out. The other time was with my new cable-sweater Uggs...we were at Home Depot riding the escalator and I managed to take a broad stance, putting my cutely adorned foot in front of us. Exposed again!!
p.p.s. If one attempts to smuggle said boots by husband, be prepared to spend extra $$ at GameStop to appease him...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Made for walkin
Well, I think we've established by now that I have a bit of an obsession with anything clothing/fashion/shopping related...I've been able to restrain myself to a certain extent given impending large financial purchases (ahem, house). However there is one weakness I cannot seem to fight: BOOTS. It sounds silly, right? But you live in Chicago for a winter and you will understand this obsession. (Although I must confess only a few of my pairs actually protect against the weather.)
What started out as an innocent dabbling a few years ago has turned into a full blown need for boots of every occasion, weather, outfit, day...and the list goes on. I recently counted and I have grown my collection from the basic brown & black heeled boots plus a pair of warm winter Merrell boots to TWELVE pairs. Yikes! Not to mention I've had to stash said pairs of boots in all nooks & crannies within our tiny condo to avoid the discovery of said obsession by my husband (who may be reading this- honey I swear, they were all on sale!)
While the number seems absurd, I can't seem to part with any of the pairs and my quest still continues. I have boot envy; like the cute powder blue Hunter wellies I spotted on the bus last week, or the ugly but so warm & yummy tall Uggs everyone has been sporting...sigh. Sometimes I think my only self-restraint against seeking out more pairs is the knowledge that 1) I have no more room 2) complete and utter guilt and 3) husband will eventually have to move out to accommodate boot obsession (for both space & frustration reasons).
It all boils down to this: there is something comforting about wearing the perfect pair. Warm, comfortable, sassy, the perfect complement to any outfit, and ultimately protection for that gross winter slush/snow/ice. For now, I shall just have to "make due" with my limited collection.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Where the Heart Is
Over the holidays I was able to spend time with family, friends, loved ones...it was my first venture back to Michigan since wedding season and it's amazing how much has happened in just a few short months. Whenever I travel back "home", it seems that I get my bearings back. I know what I want, who I am, where I want to be...and then I travel back to Chicago and it seems my compass just spins round & round and never can find North.
There's something inexplicable about the love, joy and peace that I feel when we're home visiting, and it's not just during the holidays when those feelings are a'plenty. I was young and impatient when I fled that state seeking independence, only to find it was within me, and I ran away from those I loved. The cost of finding my independence was a price I still am paying for...sure I have cherished all of the people I've met, experiences I've had, and growth I've experienced in love and life. Maybe I wouldn't have grown had I stayed. However I can't help but wonder why my path just won't cross again with the place I love so much.
Regardless of where we are planting down roots, I still feel as though my spirit only truly returns when I venture back to my true home. Will that ever change?? I don't know...but the pangs of missing, all of it, still ache after a few weeks. For now, I will focus on building our home here and hope I find that feeling, even if it's only a small shadow of the Michigan love I have deep within...
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